Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
