You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
