A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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