I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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