You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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