After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
