Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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