Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am spending my child support on dildos
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
