Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
