okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
