apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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