Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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