I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
