If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
