thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
