you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
