i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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