Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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