the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
