this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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