I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
