gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
