yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
