Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
