Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
