so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
