Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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