How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
there is glitter all over my balls
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize