Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
