i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
