Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
