Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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