sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
