Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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