That's when you crack a 10am beer
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
