i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
