Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
