Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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