in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
