i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
