cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
