I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
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