She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
