This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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