addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
