weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
