its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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