Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Someone came in the potted fern
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
