Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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