i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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