The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
