Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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