So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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