Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
