I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
