i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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