the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
