i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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