please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
this must be what syphilis tastes like
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
