Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
