Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize