Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
