i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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