4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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